I suppose I should finally post on this new blog... I really hope I stick with it even though I really don't know what it will be about yet. Prepare yourself tho, it will be abundant in typos.

I actually I have a topic, I have been pondering something for awhile and this seems as good a place as any to put it and examine it outside of myself. (I think things look different when they are written/typed)

Its the word "LOVE" and how much i have grown to hate it.

Shocking no? Let me explain.

We as a society constantly kill words with overuse abuse. And love is one of them. Affection for and attachment to an object should not be traits that can be ascribed to an object with the same word to describe how i will about my family, besties and God. I really bothers me how associating this feeling with the lesser liking of something else really belittles how I feel. I think we new a new word for this emotion, the French and Spanish have many different words to describe feelings of love so why don't we? I feel like i literally can not tell someone how much they mean to me sometimes because we misuse or fail to fully develop our vocabulary. If sitting through those Graphic classes taught me one it taught me the importance of words, it hit me that they can be so powerful visually and when carefully placed, kerned, type-chosen and refined you do not need a pretty picture to give it meaning or content. Words can shock and offend and hurt no matter what they tell you.

But words should be able to heal, comfort, uplift and celebrate! I just, I just feel like sometimes I cannot make someone believe with the words I know how truly and deeply I "love" them and I know it's because I, yes even I, overuse this word all the time.

I say I love this shirt, this food, this show, this actor! I don't really love this actor I've never met them! NO! i love my group, my little wolfpack of friends and my family and even then there is difference in the emotion. It is not less mind you, just different. i can't explain it, words won't let me, i need to start inventing words or maybe just read the dictionary so one day maybe they won't blow me off when i try to celebrate with them and comfort them and convince them that i reallyreallyreallyreally do " " them in the most fierce passionate and beautiful way.

I get so tired of feeling like my words are useless and underscore my meaning.

Anyway thats just a thought that has been nagging me for a while. Funny really that I can be bothered with concentrating on ideas like this with all that has been happening lately in my life— maybe its my minds way of distracting myself from the real problems...

I don't think I am ready to let those out yet but maybe later I will.

I still have no idea what this will be about so we'll see.