I get to type a lot now.
A lot of my schoolwork involves responding to questions about the documentaries we've watch on Blackboard or essays for article readings or memos and research for business writing. These classes, especially the Lit class with all of the documentaries, have really helped to channel my intuition and open me up to the knowledge, opinions and suffering and success of People. We relate to each other through the search of some “universal truth” which is some goal, idea or pursuit unique to all. And while the treasure and that journey to find it may lead us all to different conclusions, it is the desire to find it and the action of seeking it is shared by all. No matter how different we are, we all crave that and we all seek to fill our incompleteness by finding it. And the more I type, the more I read and discuss and the more respond and react, the more I am convinced everyday that I am on my correct path. That this is right.
Sometimes yes I do doubt. My mom and my dad and even my dear Pop question my career choice. They think there is no future in this.
I disagree, I know it feels right, I know I was lead to this decision by my God, I know that I did the right thing.
I wish they would not make me question myself, or rather what I feel the Lord has given me.
I do like that they make doubt Him, and that I sometimes have to pray and ask again "Was this right?" But every time there is doubt, questions or even a barrier, He proves again that there IS a plan for me that He conceived. When I pray for guidance I am rewarded with peace and patience. This is a waiting game. I know I do not have to know the answer now, I am here on His time and He will reveal to me the specifics eventually. Right now the weight of His assurance is truly all I need. This is new for me, I do like to have a plan and a foreseeable conclusion, but I trust Him.
Every time I look for opportunities to pursue a career or hunt for a grad school I find it. I find intern ships, paid ones that cover travel, I find new museums that are hiring, I find many colleges with financial aid and all I have to do is take the GRE and do the best I possibly can.
And I will, I am so scared of that stupid test, so scared, but I can do my best.
But, really if my best is not enough that really is ok. There are institutes I can fall back on where I can be employed and then just work my up through the ranks. I do not have to go to grad school, I just want to, all can do pray about it and wait.
I do know that I have passion, and that WILL count for something. This is right, not easy, but right and I do not need them to make me feel like it was wrong when I need their support.
They are disappointed I get that. I mean saying, "my daughter is a graphic designer" really does sound much more impressive than saying "My daughter is an Art Historian" again I know, I get it.
I also understand that they are worried, their concerns are valid I also understand them myself. Finding work could be hard and grad school will be on me and paying off those loans will be on me. I am very much aware of all of this, but what I do not understand is why they think it is productive to patronize me over and over again with these problems. They also focus on predicting nothing but the worst of situations without considering the possibility of God in this equation. They forget that I am finally following His plan for my life and that sure I do not know for certain where this may lead me but I am so confident that He is guiding me there now that I am listening
